Becoming a Mother
for Lachlan and Etta, our greatest teachers of resilience, courage and love.
I was caught off guard, I became a mother quickly
at 27 weeks (actually 26 + 6. every day in the womb counts they told me)
you both rushed into the world.
A little boy. a little girl. unbelievable, undeniable, miracles.
My heart creaked and cracked
through the immense weight of those hospital months
I aged a lifetime
stretched and battered
a trench scarred the topography of my soul.
My world upside down and changed forever.
There were too many risks, too much jargon, too many machines
too much noise. too many procedures, too much uncertainty
too much fear. so much suffering for us all to bear.
Too many hushed conversations, too many beeps, too many alarms
too many specialists, too many, too much, too soon. too soon.
But it was what you needed.
Contained and surviving in your incubator homes
(nothing can replicate the womb, they told me).
My heart shattered a thousand times,
peering in at you.
My heart filled a thousand times,
peering in at you.
The trench filled and filled and spilled over.
Moment by moment, day by day
month by month, year by year (now four), we are here.
How lucky we are, how lucky we are.
Reminding me each time i get to hug and kiss you
how lucky we are, how lucky we are
deeper than that trench, higher than the mountain
as far as the eye can see, further than you can imagine
my love for you is great.
The bravest people. the most courageous people.
My love for you is great.
Thank you both for choosing me, to be the luckiest Mother.
*** Thanks for sharing your beautiful poem Sarah ***
We get a lot of positive feedback from families in a neonatal unit who read these stories and feel strength, hope and positivity knowing that they are not alone going through these experiences and feeling certain emotions.
If you would like to discuss sharing the story of your neonatal journey, we’d love to hear from you. Please email info@littlemiraclestrust.org.nz
Interested in how The Little Miracles Trust supports families going through the stress and anxiety of a neonatal journey?
Here’s a gallery of support examples.
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About Neonatal November
In 2017 we softly launched ‘Neonatal November’. One of the key drivers for this was to have a wider period of time to raise awarness of neonatal journeys.
In addition, we were conscious that there are many full-term neonatal journeys each year (ie the full-term babies with health issues and/or complications) and we wanted to widen beyond World Prematurity Day on November 17th. All babies needing an extra hand are cared for by the caring, patient and kind staff in the Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICUs) and Special Care Baby Units (SCBUs).
See
our website to find out what’s happening around the region this Neonatal November
