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Emotional Wellbeing After a Neonatal Journey

Many families who experience premature birth or neonatal care face a unique and challenging emotional journey. You’re not alone – and the way you feel matters. Emotional and mental health is just as important as physical recovery, and it’s okay to seek support.


Understanding Postnatal Depression (PND)

Most mothers experience moments of sadness or overwhelm. But if these feelings persist, they may signal postnatal depression—a serious, often misunderstood illness that can affect any parent and make bonding with your baby more difficult. In the neonatal community, the risk is even higher, with two-thirds of parents experiencing some form of perinatal distress.

Common causes can include:

  • Unexpected birth outcomes
  • Medical complications
  • Hormonal changes
  • Lack of support
  • Loneliness or isolation
  • Trauma from a NICU/SCBU experience

Signs and Symptoms

Postnatal depression can appear any time in the first year after birth. Some symptoms include:

  • Persistent fatigue and exhaustion
  • Trouble sleeping (even when baby sleeps)
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or inadequacy
  • Anxiety or obsessive thoughts about your baby’s health
  • Loss of interest in things you once enjoyed
  • Difficulty bonding with your baby
  • Irritability, mood swings, or emotional numbness
  • Appetite or weight changes
  • Thoughts of self-harm or suicide (please seek help immediately)

What About Dads?

Dads and partners can also experience depression during this time – especially if their partner is struggling. While it’s often not labelled “postnatal depression,” it is real and valid. Men may experience:

  • Withdrawal or emotional numbness
  • Increased anger or irritability
  • Difficulty bonding with baby
  • Feelings of helplessness or failure

If you’re a father or partner feeling overwhelmed, please know it’s okay to speak up. Support is for you too.


Emotional Impact of Neonatal Care

When your baby’s birth doesn’t go to plan, you may experience:

  • Loss of the birth experience you hoped for
  • Grief at not reaching full term
  • Guilt or confusion about why this happened
  • Trauma from a stressful or emergency delivery
  • Disappointment about missing first moments (like the first cuddle)

These feelings are real and understandable. It’s not always easy to talk about them -especially when people assume you should simply feel “grateful”. But your experience matters and recognising what you’ve been through is an important part of healing.

Even joyful milestones, like taking your baby home, can bring up a mix of emotions. You’ve faced a lot, and it’s okay to need time, space, and support to process it all.


Seeking Support

Recognising you need help is a brave and powerful first step.

Practical ways to support your wellbeing:

  • Prioritise rest, nutrition and hydration
  • Talk to someone you trust: a partner, midwife, or GP
  • Join a support group (in person or online)
  • Practice gentle movement like walking or yoga
  • Make time for small moments of joy

Professional help is available:

  • Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757
  • Healthline: 0800 611 116
  • Mothers Helpers: 0800 002 717
  • Your GP or midwife can also help connect you with local resources

Support through the Little Miracles Trust

We understand the neonatal journey – and we’re here to help. We can:

  • Connect you with peer support groups
  • Share stories from other parents who’ve walked this path
  • Offer online emotional wellbeing resources
  • Direct you to trusted organisations and professionals

Please don’t suffer in silence. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, grieving the experience you hoped for, or just need someone to talk to – you are not alone.

Reach out to us or visit our support page for more resources and connections.


You’re doing an incredible job. Be kind to yourself. Your feelings matter.

Support Us

If you want to help our support of families going through the stress and anxiety of a neonatal journey, you can donate via the link below.

  • The Little Miracles Trust provides support to families of premature or sick full-term babies as they make their journey through Neonatal Intensive Care, the transition home, and onwards. We do not receive any Government funding and are entirely reliant on the generosity of individuals, companies and organisations in the form of donations, value-in-kind donations, grants, sponsorship and fundraising events to supplement operating costs and fund our services and initiatives.
  • As we are a registered charity (CC56619) with Charities Services New Zealand we will send you an IRD compliant tax receipt – this will happen automatically by return email.
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