Indie & Hugo’s Story – 23 + 6 weeks, as told by Dad, George
My name is George and this is the story of how our twins Indie & Hugo were born early and required NICU support.
Indie & Hugo were born at 1am in January 2024 at 23 + 6 weeks. My wife went into early labour 12 hours earlier due to an infection. We both had no idea what was happening at the time the contractions started. Our midwife calmly suggested we head into Christchurch immediately. This wasn’t lost on me as the excuse for a quick car trip into the city seemed almost exciting at the time. Reality set in upon arrival with a doctor announcing that the twins would need to be delivered immediately due to the severity of the placenta infection. This was a pretty scary time as we were briefed on the realistic survival chances of extreme prem babies and the long term effects prematurity can have. Due to my wife being bed-bound I was given the grand tour of NICU where I was told this would be the home of the twins for the foreseeable future. Absolutely nothing I was told sunk in and upon leaving the unit, I completely forgot what floor it was on.
The twins were born around 1am and I accompanied them up to the NICU. We hadn’t been able to agree on any names since finding out that we were expecting so a compromise had to be made, we named one each. The first 24 hours in the NICU were daunting, constantly waiting on tests and scans, talking to doctors and rushing back down to the ward to check on my wife. I quickly noted that the twins had the best of care, but mums need more support than ever. This never changed over the whole 125 days we spent in the hospital, my role was more about support for mum than anything else.
On day two we lost our wee boy Hugo. This was devastating for us as he had appeared to be the strongest out of the twins so it was a big shock when we received the news that he wasn’t going to make it after his brain scan results.
The grief of losing a child is something that few experience, there was no right or wrong way to feel about it. I’ll never forget the feeling of picking up his ashes from the crematorium.
We spent 125 days in hospital with Indie. There were highs and lows and if I ever hear anyone tell me ‘it’s a rollercoaster’ again I’ll explode.
As a father in the NICU I always found it a place that I didn’t really fit, it’s a bit of a no man’s land for fathers, but for the best part I found getting stuck in and doing what I could helped pass the time. I am a better father for my time spent in the NICU.
Whilst 4 months seemed forever at the time, we have now been home just as long and the feeling of being stuck in the NICU has started to fade. Other life challenges arise and our daughter is doing great.
There are still times of frustration at lack of progress as she still requires most feeds from a tube, but other than that she is a happy smiling baby.
I found that NICU is great for teaching patience. To any dad starting out at the NICU, these are some of the things that got me through. Enjoy.
1. The babies are in the best care, look after mum.
2. Spend your time wisely, 15 minutes with your hand in the incubator is better than two hours sat there on your phone.
3. Don’t go to NICU hungry.
4. If you don’t understand, ask.
5. Help where you can, it grows the bond.
6. Avoid being hungover in NICU, the nurses and baby can sense it, and exploit it.
Thanks so much for sharing your personal story George.
We get a lot of positive feedback from families in a neonatal unit who read these stories and feel strength, hope and positivity knowing that they are not alone going through these experiences and feeling certain emotions.
If you would like to discuss sharing the story of your neonatal journey, we’d love to hear from you. Please email info@littlemiraclestrust.org.nz
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- The Little Miracles Trust provides support to families of premature or sick full-term babies as they make their journey through Neonatal Intensive Care, the transition home, and onwards. We do not receive any Government funding and are entirely reliant on the generosity of individuals, companies and organisations in the form of donations, value-in-kind donations, grants, sponsorship and fundraising events to supplement operating costs and fund our services and initiatives.
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