NICU Through a Dad’s Eyes: Alice

As told by Dad, Andrew

Our Daughter Alice was born at 32 weeks 4 days. What started as a growth 32week monitoring scan, ended as an emergency C section and a 54 day stay in the Waikato NICU unit, an experience both my wife and I will never forget.

Thursday 19th June 2025
We were looking forward to celebrating Matariki weekend quietly, with some visits to friends, house jobs, shopping for the new arrival which we were expecting mid-August, hoping to take advantage of Matariki weekend sales, and of course the Super rugby final between the Chiefs and Crusaders. We were in no way ready to have our baby, we felt unprepared, we had planned for Vicky to finish work the week after and have the remainder of the pregnancy getting ready.

I made a commitment to my wife to attend every scan, due to her being told of a loss during a scan where she heard that news alone. Not being there was something I’ve always regretted.

The Radiographer said I need to call your midwife, a sentence that would stop our hearts, Vicky froze, and went into protection mode, I could see the ‘not again’ look on her face. This turned to meeting our midwife at Waikato hospital where we met with our midwife and the doctors and were told that the placenta wasn’t performing its job well and that although “Right now the womb is the best incubator, but we need to prepare for when it’s not”. Vicky was admitted to Hospital, steroids were given, and we were told she won’t be coming home until she had the baby.

Saturday 21st June 2025
Alice’s heart rate had been unstable in the early hours of the morning, she had done some very unusual kicking and moving, Vicky advocated for her and she was on continuous monitoring for the night. I had gone home for the night, so Vicky called me around 3am to come to the hospital, we waited constantly staring at the monitors. A decision was made around 6am that it was time to perform the C section.

I felt so useless and in everyone’s way, no matter which spot I was in, there was always someone needing to get where I was. I would be told this is your spot then something happened and I would need to move again.

Alice was officially delivered at 0656 on June 21st, 2025, weighing 1380 grams.

By 0720 she was in an incubator in Room 2 of the Waikato NICU unit. in the morning there were a lot of tests performed, her blood sugars were low, so they were trying to get them up.

That afternoon I had my first skin to skin cuddle, which was a dauting experience, she was so tiny and with the all the cords, monitors and a CPAP hose, I was glad the nurses got her out for me. But once she was on my chest it was the most magical feeling ever.

The staff at the Hospital bought Vicky down on a bed, and she was able to have her first cuddle and meet our daughter for the first time since birth. Theres so much to learn in those first couple of days, there’s the medical terms, the acronyms, the general hospital routine, I’m sure I was told things by the nurses that I just didn’t take in.

The first 48 hours of are a scary moment in your life, you have had to witness the woman you love go through the fear of what’s next, the C-section and recovery, you don’t know which floor you should be on, with your wife or with your new born, there’s so many wires, beeps, monitors, medical lingo and acronyms, you feel helpless, in the way and struggle to understand your place in the Unit.

With Vicky still in recovery, I spent the majority of the first two days going between floors spending time with both girls. At this time, you don’t know the rules of your baby, I didn’t know if I was allowed to open the incubator or get her out or hold her, the nurses were amazing, and one even said your allowed to hold her when you want.

Once Vicky was discharged, I then had to show her the ropes. It was a really weird feeling going home without our girl and leaving her in the hospital.

Everyone who has experienced some time in NICU describes it as a rollercoaster ride and that is true, you have ups and downs, then a sharp bend thrown in for good measure. We were lucky that the hospital was able to get steroids into Vicky which helped Alice’s lung development, and although we had ups and downs, our journey was smoother than some. However, every step backwards was met with a fear of how far back will she go?

Time in NICU goes slow, we were only there for two months, which seemed like a lifetime, the first two months out of NICU seamed to fly by. The routine sets in and you enjoy anything that breaks up your day, especially the mothers who are on the pumping, feeding and cares schedules find it hard to nip away, the coffee breaks and the chats with other parents and non-medical staff are amazing. Being in NICU became our world, every conversation we had circled to NICU, our friends, family and my work, it was always the first thing that got bought up so any moment to have a conversation about anything else was appreciated.

Even months after discharge, I have to drive past the unit on the way to work, I sometimes see a shadow in the window while I’m at the traffic lights and think of our time there, you share so many of your firsts with the team, the first cuddles, the first time you check a temperature , the first time you prepare a feed, the first time you change a nappy in an incubator and your baby gets impatient because the nurses can do it in a quarter of the time, the first bath, the first outfit, the first breast feed, along with those mile stones of reducing oxygen support, moving to an open cot, moving to a room that means you are closer to home. There is always one of the team there along the way.

The support that you get in the Waikato NICU unit is amazing, everyone involved tries their best every day to make your life just a bit easier. You get all the information you need when you ask for it, the senior nurses are more than happy to explain things to you, or get the doctors to explain things, I remember when Alice had to go from Hi flo back to CPAP, from the time the Dr said she needs to go back into an incubator, and back on CPAP, was only half an hour. The nurses were doing their thing, and one of the nurses was walking past, looked at what was going on and said to the team who were working and said I’ll go get this off she went and came back with some items they needed, I was amazed at the level which they operate when needed. Prior to our time in NICU, I had no idea what goes on in there, I had barely even heard of NICU, upon leaving we know that there’s a team of 100 plus people there to help all working with one goal, to get healthy babies’ home.

For us the journey isn’t just 54 days in NICU, its 4 1/2 years of trying, fertility treatment and loss. This makes Alice super special to us and very appreciative of the Waikato, NICU and The Little Miracles Trust team for all the work they do and the support they have given us to be able to bring our girl home and build our lives as parents.